Cycle of Faith…
I wrote this over two years ago. It felt like it was gifted to me in a season where we were about to completely jump out of the boat. I have read this over and over again and it has been such on ongoing encouragement to me. I felt prompted this morning to share it with others because we all can relate to this cycle and the ongoing choice to allow trust to guide us forward rather than fear.
"My heart says of you, 'Seek His face!' Your face, Lord, I will seek."
-Psalm 27:8
The Gospel of Matthew has such a great description of the 'formula' and evolution of faith through the walking on water story.
"When the disciples saw Him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, 'It's a ghost!'" -Matthew 14:26
*We can't rely on our feelings and our limited sight and then be led by fear. What they saw terrified them even though what they saw was actually Jesus, love itself. We can't rely on our limited sights and instincts.
"But Jesus spoke to them at once, 'Don't be afraid', He said. 'Take courage, I am here!'" -Matthew 14:27
*He assures them but then calls them to action. Taking courage is an action not a feeling. We can say we trust and feel courage but it is demonstrated through action, not words.
"Then Peter called to Him, 'Lord if it's really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.' 'Yes, come,' Jesus said." -Matthew 14:28-29
*He already assured them explicitly but Peter is still unsure! He still asks to make sure that is is actually Jesus and not a ghost! We can see Him working but then second guess and ask God to prove it over and over again.
"So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. 'Save me, Lord!' he shouted." -Matthew 14:29b-30
*So he finally took the step out of the boat, stepped out in faith, was literally walking on water and then stopped looking at Jesus and instead shifted focus to the scary storm of circumstances all around him. And then he started to sink and cried out to be saved. So even when we step out in faith, it doesn't mean we won't feel scared or be affected by the hard things. But all we have to do is refocus and ask for help!
"Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. 'You have so little faith.' Jesus said. 'Why did you doubt me?'" -Matthew 14:31
*Jesus does not wait, tsking and shaming him for lack of faith. He immediately responds to his cry for help and reaches out to save him. I think He is disappointed that in the midst of an actual miracle, Peter still doubts. He is walking on water but still sinks because of fear. He is defying gravity and the limits of the physical world but still doubts the power Jesus holds. I am also so much like this but it is encouraging that this is shown as a normal human reaction and that He understands our fear and doubt but He still chooses to rescue us! We can recognize this is an instinct and we will never be fully freed from fear but we can choose to trust in His power to defy all limits even when we feel fear! We don't have to be controlled by it or shame ourselves for feeling it, just cry out to Him for help.
"When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. Then the disciples worshiped Him. 'You really are the Son of God!' they exclaimed." -Matthew 14:32
*So the process started in fear and terror because they didn't recognize Jesus. Then they were assured and called to action - Take courage! Then Peter gave a condition to make sure He was actually Jesus even though He just assured them He was. Then Peter took action, stepped out of the safe boat and walked toward Him. Then in the midst of the miracle, when he was literally defying gravity, he took his eyes off of Jesus and looked to the scary storm around him, started to sink and cried out. He was walking on water yet he still doubted. He cried out for help, Jesus immediately saved him and then completely calmed the storm. Then they all proclaimed renewed and strengthened faith - that He really was the Son of God, He really was who He said He was. And this is the cycle of building faith! One that we go through many, many times in our lifetime. This passage is a gift because it gives us a practical formula, that we can relate to so well as to how God builds faith, courage and confidence. He may allow circumstances to build these things in us but we still have to choose if we will obey the call to action. Even if we doubt He calls us to take courage and step out of the boat. And even in the midst of miracles and answered prayers, we must constantly refocus on Him and realign to choose confident trust over fear. We are never left alone in it, He's only a cry away! And each time we come through another cycle, we will once again proclaim, You are the Son of God! Jesus, You are in fact who You say You are and we can trust You.
*So this is the cycle of faith in our lives, in some ways a map! And on the days we doubt and feel like we are sinking, completely overwhelmed by the waves around us, all we need to do is cry out to Him. Jesus, help us, save us! Help us to have courage and take action, continue to walk on the water towards You, trusting You will uphold us for the journey ahead. This is not on us, Your power is unlimited, it defies worldly limitations and Your grace is sufficient. Thank-you for building our faith and giving us the courage we need to keep moving forward, with You.
